Thirty Days
by HappyBirthgrey
Summary: After a drunken bet with Emmett, Edward swears to abstain from sexual activity for an entire month. Bella isn't pleased. And temptation is a tricky bastard. AH. Rated M. bananapancakes7 gift to queenofgrey.
1. Chapter 1

=:=:=

I stared at my drunk, idiot boyfriend in disbelief, my lips curling in confusion. "I'm sorry, what was that, now? You're _abstaining _from sex? For a _month_?"

Edward rolled his eyes, waving his hand like this was _no big deal_. I whirled around to Emmett and gave him a piercing glare. "Where the fuck did you take him? Bible study?!"

Emmett guffawed, walking over and wrapping his enormous bear-like arms around me in what he probably thought was a comforting embrace. Squishing my face against his shirt, he said, "Just the bar. I was betting him that we couldn't go two days without plowing--"

I pushed myself away from him, scoffing.

"Sorry--_getting intimate _with our girlfriends," he said, settling himself onto the couch. "Anyway, it started getting ridiculous. Two days turned into a week, and then after a few shots of Jager, it became two weeks. Then, your boy bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't go three weeks, and I backed out. There's no way I could stay away from Rosie that long; that, and she'd fucking kick my ass."

"Oh, you hear that?" I said to Edward, who was supporting his weight against the wall. "Do you honestly think I won't kick _your _ass? I _like _my sex life."

"See, man, I told you she'd be pissed," Emmett said with a grin. "Anyway, it's apparent that Edward gets cocky when he's drunk--somehow, he believes he can go without it for a month. Don't worry, it's not like he's going to last. And he's completely wasted--he'll probably push you up against the wall as soon as I leave."

"I'm still lucid, asshole," said Edward, though his stumble into my desk chair didn't exactly help to put him in a clear-headed light. He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. "I know what I agreed to."

"You haven't heard the best part," said Emmett in a strained voice, seeming more amused by the second.

"How the hell is there more to this?" I asked, wondering if I honestly wanted the answer.

Emmett laughed again, practically wheezing the words out. "He can't--he--" He stopped to snort, then continued, "If such a problem _arises, _he can't take care of that, either!"

I was stumped for a few moments before I realized what he meant. Instead of throwing up my arms in frustration and muttering the idiocy of the whole idea, I rounded the corner, into the kitchen, so I could see Edward. "You can't _masturbate_?!"

As the words spilled from my mouth, I instantly burst into laughter and suddenly, I was the one holding onto the wall for aid. Emmett came up to my side and joined in, and Edward merely shrugged, raising a glass of water to his lips.

"You'll _never _make it," I choked out in between giggles, then turned to Emmett. "How are you going to know if he keeps his word? Put up hidden cameras?"

Emmett wiped tears from his eyes and sighed, still chuckling under his breath. "Well, given that he and I work together, I can keep an eye on him there and make sure he doesn't put in any _overtime _hours," he said with another snort. "And also, this is where you come in, Bellabean. You are my eyes and ears through this, okay? The minute you catch him in the act, or whenever he comes begging to you for a release, I'd like a phone call, please."

Emmett and I teased Edward for a little while longer before I walked Emmett to the door. He gave me another bear hug and said quietly, "Do me a favor. Tempt him a little?"

"I'll see what I can do," I replied, waving as he disappeared down the apartment's stairwell. When I went back to the kitchen, Edward was slumped at the table with his head buried in the crook of his arm. His buzz had definitely transformed into drowsy sluggishness. "So, how much is this little challenge worth?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?" he mumbled, not lifting his head. "Like how much is our relationship worth to me? Because you know I respect you--"

"Oh, don't get all philosophical," I said, filling a highball with ice and opening up the liquor cabinet to pour myself a bit of rum. I _never _drank straight liquor, but if I wasn't going to have sex for a month, then I was going to start. "I meant how much money is at stake?"

"Five-hundred."

_Well, at least it's a good amount._

"Either way," I said, sitting next to him and sipping my drink, "whether you have an extra five-hundred dollars in your wallet or not, you are going to make this up to me. I'm talking dinner, dessert, some kind of luxurious hotel suite, champagne, strawberries--all of that. And, you will give me the most _mind-blowing _sex I've ever had."

"Okay." His voice was muffled by his arm.

I laughed under my breath, shaking my head. "Are you sure this isn't some kind of weird way to distance yourself? I mean, everything's okay with us, right?"

He must have picked up his head much too quickly for the state he was in, because his face turned an uneasy, ashen shade. "God, no--I mean, yes, things are fine with us. I swear, Bella. I just wasn't thinking…_fuck_," he breathed, cradling his head. "I think I drank my body weight."

"Would it be bitchy of me to say '_serves you right_?'" I asked, taking another sip from my glass.

He sighed. "I suppose not. I don't know, we were just bullshitting and Emmett was talking about Rosalie and _positions_, and shit…" He looked at my raised eyebrows and cleared his throat. "Well, you know me, I don't really go into detail like he does. I guess I just wanted to shut him up, you know? Let him know that my relationship with you isn't just physical. I mean, I know he loves Rose, and it was just the alcohol talking--"

"Oh, Edward," I said with a laugh, running my fingers through his hair. Hearing him say such a thing was thoughtful, and I loved him for it. Though, I wasn't thrilled about our horizontal humping hiatus. "I believe you. It's just…two weeks, I can handle. But a month?" He blew his breath through his lips, looking just as disappointed as I felt, finally. This was going to be a difficult thirty days. Oddly, I began to feel a bit sorry for him, and then, suddenly, a smirk crossed his face.

"Well…you could always call Jacob Black," he said teasingly. "He'd be willing to satisfy you in my absence."

_Oh, for fuck's sake._ I swallowed a large mouthful of rum, creating a spicy warmth flooding down my throat and expanding through my chest. "You know, I was just about to tell you that I wouldn't tattle to Emmett if you cheated once in awhile," I said, lithely standing from the chair. "Emmett said you couldn't have sex or give yourself any man-handling. He never said _my _hands couldn't take on the job."

Edward's mouth parted, his brow creasing with thought. He raised his eyebrows. "That's true."

"Oh, but _now_, I think I _will _watch you like a hawk, since you had to bring Jacob Black into it," I said, emptying the remainder of my glass into the sink.

"Bella, I was just kidding," he said, reaching out for my hand.

I took it, leaning over to place a kiss on his forehead. "Nope. No pity for the boyfriend who brings up the Ghost of Crazy, Convict, Fuck-All Christmas past."

Before I started dating Edward, I dated _Jacob_, who would forever be remembered for stealing a motorcycle on Christmas Eve, crashing into my mailbox, and attempting to sing (or scream) 'Randolph the Brown-Nosed Reindeer' at my window. We later found out he'd been blitzed out of his mind on weed.

Edward pulled me into his lap, leaning back against the chair so he wouldn't drunkenly topple off the side. "Forgive me?" he asked, his eyes an emerald glaze.

"That depends," I said, shifting my legs to straddle his lap. I figured he was too liquored up to get turned on by a simple action. "You're still allowed to kiss me, right?"

"Mm-hmm," he said, pulling my face to his and giving me a languorous kiss. Then, suddenly, he pulled away, groaning. "Bella…were you drinking alcohol?"

I scoffed a laugh at his obliviousness. "I know, one night of this and I'm already reaching for the bottle," I joked.

His already pale face turned the slightest shade of pear green, and he gently pushed me back. "Baby, I'm gonna be sick," he whined, lifting me off his lap and rushing for the bathroom. Unpleasant noise followed from down the hall, in addition to a weak, muffled, "I'm never drinking again."

Honestly, if I could help it, I would certainly make sure that he never drank _Jagermeister _again. Ever.

=:=:=

I had my money on Emmett. In the first week, Edward slipped into "celibacy" almost comfortably, annoyingly so, considering I had to live out _Girl Parts, Interrupted _while he was abstinent_. _I played along, being Emmett's watchful eye whenever Edward was home. I was a very light sleeper, waking up at the slightest movement or sound, so Edward had no chance of lovin' it up with himself in bed, anyway. I made him play the piano whenever I showered, and I knew his playing well enough to know when he wasn't using _both hands_. However, I was certain that it was only a matter of time before Edward would complain, get agitated or crumple from a case of blue balls, and come crawling to me for a good _'fuck this bet' _fuck.

No such luck for me.

At first, it was nice to spend so much time with him outside of the house: we went grocery shopping together, walked around the park after work, ate out a lot more often. He even accompanied me to the library some nights, engrossing himself in a mystery novel while I pored over English literature. We tried to come home late on purpose; the more exhausted we were, the faster we would fall asleep without the desire to spoon our way into a dry hump.

Emmett called me often, checking to see if Edward was being a "good boy," and I, unfortunately, always mumbled a positive review in his favor. Though, I noticed his unbothered act would falter slightly whenever I changed my clothes or walked past him in a towel. I would catch him staring with hungry eyes, and sometimes I was too weak to stop myself from hugging him from behind, wrapping my leg around his and rubbing my hands way too close to the domain of shame. He'd pry my hands away, kiss me on the forehead, and pull me into a watching a movie or playing a board game, where his touches remained minimal; mostly, I received nudges. _Nudges_.

We'd become _sleepover _friends. I was still waiting for him to ask if he could do my hair or give me a manicure, or something else that was just as asinine.

By the third week, I was grumpy, and had gotten more intimate with the shower head than ever. I'd always kept my carnal moans to myself, thinking that I didn't want to stir him up if I could help it, but as we slipped into bed for the night, I received a quick peck on the cheek before he rolled over with a soft sigh. A tired sigh. He was going straight to sleep…_again_.

_That's it._

I sat up, rolled over to my nightstand, and dug through my drawer for something that I hadn't used since Edward's business trip to Dubai. He'd been gone for a week, and I'd been pleased to have something to keep me company: my purple Rabbit Habit. I heard Edward rustle the sheets, probably staring over his shoulder to see what I was doing. _Good_.

"What are you doing?" came his curious voice, just as I expected.

I slid my vibrator out from it's satin bag, feeling a smile creep over my face. "Just getting ready for bed." _And for an orgasm that we both will never forget_.

I'd never masturbated in front of him; it was something we joked about over a bottle of Pinot at our favorite restaurant, but in the end, I had been too shy to follow through. However, tonight was going to be different…

I flicked the switch to the on setting, and a low buzzing sound filled the air. Edward's face was pricelessly set in shock, and without bothering waste time explaining myself, I fluidly pulled off my underwear and went to work. I ran my hand under my shirt, rubbing all my favorite places and rubbed my legs together, moaning softly as the waves of vibration pulsed against my clit. I stole a look at Edward, who was staring straight ahead, his mouth hanging open, fingers digging little crevices into our bedspread.

"You can join in anytime, you know," I said breathily, purposely over-exaggerating my voice. "There aren't any rules against you pleasuring _me_. Unless you don't think you can--" I paused to moan as warm heat quaked through my lower body and I bucked my hips against the pressure. "Unless you can't _control _yourself."

He stayed put, and I continued writhing in pleasuring lust, licking my lips, thrusting my middle into the air, only pausing to grab Edward's arm as he finally moved to get out of bed. "If you leave--I'm calling Emmett," I said between pants. "I need to see you--make sure you're still _pure."_

On the last word, I burst into giggles and he ripped his arm away from mine. He darted to the window, yanked it open, and I heard him take a deep gulp of air. The warm breeze blew through the room, tickling my stomach, and I pressed a pillow against my mouth to stifle a provocative groan.

"Bella, the neighbors," Edward hissed from the corner.

"I don't give a damn," I said in a harsh whisper, because that was the only sound I could make at the moment. At last, I slid the vibrating shaft inside me, arching my back off the bed as I gasped, digging my heels into the mattress. I was dizzy, and as I turned to look at Edward, I saw what I'd been waiting to see: highlighted in moonlight, something was pushing against the confines of his boxer briefs--something very curious, very _hard_. Very _him_.

"Come here, please," I begged, stretching out my free hand. "I'm so close, baby. I want you to finish, please?"

Edward took another deep breath, and I could see that he was deliberating fiercely, stealing glances from the window, to me, to his shorts, and back. "Damn it," he whispered over the buzzing, but didn't make a move.

For a moment, I was pissed. He was watching me wriggling around, half-naked, touching myself--_masturbating--_and he wouldn't come to me. I was in the middle of performing most guys' fucking _fantasy_, and I half-wished he would just grab himself and beat off like a goddamned teenager instead of just standing there. Eventually, the pulsating grew to be too much, and I pumped and pressed my toy in and out, making sure the little bunny on the outside nuzzled my swollen center as I rocked my hips, continuing to gasp, riding myself into a frenzied climax.

I moaned, grasping the sheet with one hand as my other shook madly, clasped around the Rabbit. I threw my head back, panting carelessly, and shot a look at Edward. His back was to me; he was hunched, gripping the windowsill, breathing almost as raggedly as I was. I smiled through my throes of arousal and called out one more thing. "Oh, _God_, _Edward!"_

The window slammed, and the sound of his maddening breath and my own cry of his name sent me over the edge. I came quickly, thrusting in rhythm with the waves of my orgasm, and finally collapsed back on the pillows. My chest heaved as I calmed, and the tingling chills quelled to a peaceful warmth throughout my body. I sighed, loving the hot, pulsing reverberations in my groin.

_That--was--fuck--ing--fab--u--lous, _they throbbed.

I lazily rolled my head in Edward's direction again and raised my eyebrows. "You missed out," I breathed, smirking.

He fisted a hand in his hair, tightly pulling at the strands, and his other hand rested against his stomach, twitching--as if he was dying to reach down and take care of other _pressing _matters. Instead of doing so, he practically growled and hastily made his way into the bathroom, slamming the door.

"Does that mean Emmett wins?" I called out. I heard him groan again before the bathroom door flung open and smacked against the outside wall. "No," he grunted from inside, and the whirring sound of the shower brought the walls to life.

I pulled a bottle of toy cleaner out of my drawer and slid out of bed, convincing my rubbery legs to carry me into the bathroom. Edward opened the glass door to the shower and stepped inside, and I granted myself a peek. He was magnificent, as always, with his godlike structure and chiseled features…not to mention his tight, little ass and incredibly rock-hard erection.

I licked my lips, wondering what he would do if I suddenly got inside the shower and dropped to my knees, grabbing his hips and sliding my tongue up the base of his--

The bottle of antibacterial cleaner slipped out of my hand and clattered into the sink. I blew out my breath, chuckling. "Don't worry," I said lightly, spraying my Rabbit Habit clean. "Only ten more days. I'm sure you'll be fine."

I smiled again as I watched his hands curl into fists. When I had set my _"pet" _to the side to dry, I stripped off my shirt and opened the shower door. I stepped inside without a word, and though he didn't turn around, his muscles stiffened.

"What are you doing?" he asked as I slid my hands up his back.

"Jesus, Edward, the water's freezing," I whined, feeling gooseflesh ripple down my naked body.

He groaned again, frustrated, though he still didn't face me. "Well, what else am I going to do? Wish it away?"

_It_. Edward Jr. was still standing at attention, I presumed. "I could take care of it," I said, surprising myself at the bold tone that came out of me. I sounded like a cheap hotline girl!

"I told myself I could do this," he hissed through his teeth. "Why are you making it so difficult?"

"Why are you so committed?" I asked, locking my arms around his middle, not allowing him to shake me off. "It's just a stupid bet, Edward. I miss you. I mean, I love the time we've been spending with each other, but you barely touch me. I feel empty without you."

I felt him relax subtly, and was shocked when he laughed softly. "Was that pun intended?"

I snorted. "No. Well…" I hesitated, laughing with him, then sighed. "No, not really. I'm not a sex addict. And I know it's not everything, but I feel like your _buddy_. I just want _you _back, all of you."

He sighed, finally allowing himself to turn around, though I kept my eyes firmly on his. "I'm sorry," he said, wrapping his hands around my back, pulling me under the torrent of chilled water. "Ten days. Christ."

I shivered, carefully laying my cheek against his chest. "You can quit. It's only…five-hundred dollars." _Ugh. Fucking boys. Fucking bets. Fucking Jagermeister._

"We can make it," he said, speaking into my hair. "I'm rather looking forward to this sexual extravaganza I'm supposed to plan when this is all over."

And that's the way he wanted to play it. I let him cling to me for a few moments before I turned the water's dial to a balmy temperature and lathered myself with soap, washing off the traces of sweat and self-gratification. He stood back and watched, his face a pitiful mask of willpower and patience. It was so _easy _to rile him up.

After I wrapped myself in a towel and changed back into suitable pajamas, Edward stood under a drowning shower of cold water for thirty minutes before I could coax him back to bed.

=:=:=

Happy birthday, Jes! I love your fuckawesome self! You deserve all kinds of good things, and here's hoping that you're at least mildly entertained by the weird shit that comes out of my head.

1 more chapter to come.


	2. Chapter 2

_=:=:=_

_The Thirtieth Day_

_=:=:=_

"Ow!" I hissed under my breath as my toe collided with the corner of the dresser. I shook off the pain and sat on my bed, punishing my feet further as I slid them into my too-tight, white satin heels. I'd be lucky if I could even stand upright, much less _walk_.

I glanced in the mirror as I stood, fluffing my hair a bit, thinking that my eyes looked a bit dusky--not in the smoldering seductress, eye-shadow way, either. Unfortunately, I'd barely gotten any sleep the night before; Edward had slept so restlessly, tossing and turning to the point of absurdity, and I'd finally woken him to make sure that he wasn't having a nightmare.

"Of _course _it was a dream," he'd mumbled groggily before pressing his face back into a pillow.

"Oh, _ho, _I see," I'd snickered, snuggling up to his back. "Panty fantasy?"

I'd received a very low, frustrated mumble of, "Keep your distance, you sex fiend."

Now, it was nearing eight AM, and we were scrambling around the house, packing last minute toiletries and tidbits that we might need for the weekend.

A few months back, Esme and Carlisle had moved into a gorgeous house in Monterey, and had been asking us to visit for quite some time. Esme had finally persuaded us to make the trip from Fresno, especially since Edward's Uncle Aro was in town for the World Affairs conference, which was taking place in San Francisco--it would be my first time meeting him, and I was as jittery as a coke-addicted chipmunk.

Edward's shout broke me out of my hair-care war. "Bella, are you _coming_?"

_Too easy._

"Yeah," I answered, calling out into the hall. "I just need to…find my suitcase..." I glanced around frantically, knowing I had left it right by the closet, and of _course_, it was no longer there.

"I have it--I'm putting it in the car, now," he called back. "Emmett just got here. Five minutes?"

"Okay, be right there!" I replied, checking myself in the mirror once more, wrinkling my nose at my khaki capris, white, thick-strapped tank-top, the light yellow cardigan draped over my shoulders, and my pointy shoes. I was officially out of place, and looked like a fucking marshmallow peep.

"Yo, Bellabean!" called a familiar voice, and I turned around to see Emmett grinning at me from the doorway, decked out in jeans, of course. "Whoa, or should I say _Jellybean_. Is it Easter again, my little pastel princess?"

I threw my purse at him and scoffed as I walked to the door. "Shut up, sweater-vest," I shot back, causing Emmett to laugh and rub his shirt. "I'm trying to--fit in, or something."

"Oh, no, no, no," he said, waving me back and tossing my purse to the floor. "Honestly, Bella, hasn't Rosalie taught you anything?"

I stumbled over my feet as he put his hands on my shoulders, steering me backward, and catching me before I could land on my ass. "Emmett, what--"

"No offense, but you look like you stole my Gran's clothes," he said teasingly. "I thought you were going to help me out and make Edward sweat a little. I only have, like, seventeen hours left, and--"

"You boys and this _stupid _bet," I said, stopping to press my fingertips to my temples, feeling my head pound slightly. "_And_, I am on _his _side, you know. He's done… really well."

He barked a laugh. "You don't sound pleased."

"What? I--I'm proud of him," I said, but Emmett grinned, detecting the lack of enthusiasm in my voice. I sighed in resignation. "Fine, I'm _surprised_, that's all. I expected him to cave by the second week, if anything. And really, I _did _try to tempt him last week--and honestly, I'm thinking he's a little _too _good at holding in his inner horndog. I mean, I pulled out _toys_--"

"Whoa, okay, easy," he said, patting my shoulder. "You might be my sister someday, so let's skip the fine details of your romps with my little bro, shall we?"

I tried not to grumble under my breath and smoothed the creases in my pants. "Anyway, it's all for naught. I hope you brought your money. He's not budging."

"But still, Bells--can't you try a little harder? For me? I mean, pants and a _sweater?!" _he stressed, staring at me as though I had draped myself in peels of seaweed and toxic sludge. "Not that you're not as cute as a little, yellow bunny, but can you please put on something _open_? Show a bit of those perky, little snack trays for my boy!"

"Snack--_snack _trays?" I uttered, crinkling my nose while covering my chest with my hands, even though it was already concealed. "God, Emmett, you're such a pig. And I'm not going to look like some kind of untamed hooker in front of your parents, _and _your foreign affairs officer _uncle_, of all people!"

"I have it on good authority that Uncle Aro has definitely enjoyed his share of snack tr--"

"Oh_, don't _tell me," I said, feeling a childish urge to plug my ears. "Anyway, my clothes are _tasteful_, all right? Besides, I brought a dress for the party tonight, so--"

"As lovely as it is that you two are having such a nice chat," came Edward's voice from down the hall, "if we're going to make brunch, I'd suggest moving some ass. Emmett, stop gawking at my girl--"

Edward poked his head into the bedroom, then, and stared at me, breaking into an amused grin. "I'm sorry," he said, stepping in my direction, holding out his hand. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Edward Cullen. Bella never mentioned she had a _polo _instructor."

My shoulders wilted, and I stared at him tiredly. "Thanks a lot," I said, picking up a small travel bag and shoving it into his outstretched hand. "Enjoy the quiet drive. I'm riding with Emmett."

"Mm-hmm, sure you are," he said, giving me a quick kiss. "You look fine. But let's go, huh?"

He tucked my bag under his arm and walked toward the door, nudging Emmett on his way out. Emmett playfully shoved him back, then turned to me. "You were saying…"

I turned back to the mirror and scrutinized my appearance again, scratching the back of my head, pressing my lips together. I supposed I shouldn't really care if I was wearing warm, beige, _boring _colors. It was _brunch_, for God's sake; the cocktail party Esme was throwing wasn't until later that evening--_that's _when I figured I'd try to look sexy. Edward had never seen the dress I was planning on wearing, after all, and I was hoping to show off something ravishing that he could rip off of me in a blind passion after the bet was over, but the mischief twinkling in Emmett's eyes was enough to halfway coax me to pull out the big guns early; that, and Edward's mocking of my attire.

"I know you're as frustrated as I am," Emmett pressed.

"True," I agreed, pulling at my shirt. "However, come later, when Edward makes it past midnight, you're going to give him five-hundred dollars and he and I are going to have some wild, erotic escapade. _You, _Emmett Cullen, cannot offer me that.

"Besides, Edward and I have gotten even closer than we were before. Sex isn't everything. I love him, and thirty days is nothing, really--it's just a month. And after tonight, we'll be better from the whole experience."

It was cheesy, but it was true. I cleared my throat, gave Emmett a nod, and scooped up my purse. I patted his arm as I stepped past him, pulling my cardigan tighter over my shoulders, and he sighed behind me.

"I should have let him keep it at two," he breathed.

I froze mid-step, turning back on one constricted, uncomfortable heel. "Sorry?"

"He originally bragged that he could go _two _months," Emmett said, rolling his shoulders and cracking his knuckles. "I told him he was crazy."

I bit the inside of my lip, brow furrowing in a deep crease. "_Two _months?" I echoed.

Emmett nodded. "I mean, I made him agree to only _one _month, because I didn't want you both to be all hot and bothered once we're in Belize."

Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, and I had planned a trip to Mexico; we were supposed to be leaving in two weeks. Belize was going to be our ultimate vacation--we'd never been out of the United States _together_--only separate. I was looking forward to pristine, sandy beaches, cold cocktails, hikes, and swimming in crystalline, blue water; numerous evenings of tantalizing touches, dancing, and rolling in the sheets with Edward were also included--at least, _I'd _planned such activities. Apparently, Edward hadn't thought as in depth as I had.

I sucked in my breath and stalked back into my room. "Tell Edward five minutes," I told Emmett, tossing my cardigan on the bed. "And get out. I'm getting naked."

Emmett's eyes widened and his lips curled upward. "You want me to tell him to _meet _you in here in five minutes?"

"No, I'm changing," I said simply, unbuttoning my khakis. "So I'd suggest closing the door."

"Yes ma'am," he said, chuckling, and pulled the door shut, disappearing from my sight.

I stalked to my closet and pushed a section of clothes to the side, sliding hangers until I found what I was looking for: a black-and-white-striped jersey dress that clung to each and every curve of my body. I'd been saving it for vacation--that, and the matching pair of leather peeptoe stilettos that Rosalie had urged me to buy. It was sad, that at the age of twenty-six, I still needed help picking out my own shoes.

But I didn't need help now.

I shamelessly stripped off my country-club get-up and pulled the dress over my head, shaking my hair and parting it to the side. I quickly dashed over to my dresser and opened my jewelry case, pulling out a different necklace and earrings. After I had transformed myself, I rushed into the bathroom for one more thing: Vanilla Ginger body oil. Its scent was heavenly, and the best part: it was lickable.

A few drops of it usually turned Edward into some kind of sensual scavenger, seeking out the places I'd dabbed, kissing and nipping at every bit of my skin until he had successfully found every scented spot.

I dotted my neck, wrists, and collarbone with my secret weapon, tucked the little bottle into my purse, spread a new layer of peach gloss over my lips, and turned off all the lights. I was ready.

As I descended the stairs outside of our complex, I peeked at Edward's car; the windows were tinted, so I couldn't see him, but I heard Emmett holler like a jackass out of his SUV, "That's what I'm talking about, B!" For a moment, I toyed with the idea of actually leaving Edward to ride by himself, but decided against it. I had some scheming to do.

"Sorry, I was changing," I apologized as I shut myself into the passenger seat of Edward's car, buckling my seatbelt without looking at him. "You were right. I looked pretty silly, so…"

I turned to look out the window, and only looked back at Edward when the car didn't move. He was staring at me, lips pressed together, fingers curled around the steering wheel, and the words _I'm One Horny Motherfucker _practically written all over his face.

Mm. His face, all voluptuous and tantalizing. God damn it, he was such a glorious, lusty mess.

"It's only forty-five minutes, right?" I asked, pretending to be oblivious. "We'll make it by nine…as long as you're capable of thrusting the stick shift into gear. Or getting firm with the accelerator. Or, is _that _against the rules, too?"

I snickered at my joke, and leaned across the seat to kiss his freshly-shaven cheek, lingering just long enough for him to get a whiff of what I was wearing. Pavlov couldn't have predicted his response any better: he inhaled sharply and grasped my face in his hands, pressing his mouth deep against mine, eagerly exploring my lips.

I smiled through the kiss, pleased at the success I was already having.

"I--missed--your--enthusiasm," I breathed as I leaned away, only to have him pull me back with each word. I trapped his bottom lip between both of mine, letting my teeth graze his skin, and he groaned softly as my fingers traveled through his hair. His hands were traveling, too--down my arms, waist, and beyond. I giggled, knowing that I should pull away before we got carried away; Emmett was still in the parking lot, after all.

"Edward," I managed to say as his mouth found my neck, "we should go. Emmett--your parents are waiting for--"

His lips were back on mine, quickly shutting me up.

Heat, fire, need, desire.

I was slowly losing control of my thoughts as his touch began to consume me. So ardent were his hands, I found myself undoing my seatbelt and curling my legs to kneel on my seat, stretching further to meet him. He hadn't touched me like this in weeks, and my hormones weren't about to let me stop. I moaned softly as he sucked under the arc of my jaw, his breath hot and fluttering under my ear. I dropped my fingers to the hollow of his neck, brushing over his collar before undoing a few buttons and plunging my hand inside his shirt. His muscles were flexing and hard under the soft fabric, and the feel of tickling wisps of hair and heat under my palm made me eager, warm, and wild…_down under_.

_Too much. Not the plan. But, dear God, screw it._

I was glad I'd chosen the jersey dress, for it was silky and sleek against the leather seats, and I gracefully slid onto his lap, bending my knees, easily straddling him. The thin fabric of both our garments hindered nothing, absolutely _nothing _at all, and the press and push we gave each other made me bite my lip. Edward compressed his hands deep against my back, sliding me further, hitching the skirt of my dress around my waist.

"Do you want--are you sure?" I panted as his mouth quavered against mine. His answer was apparent as he grabbed my hips, pulling my lap into his--hard, hot, and twitching with desire underneath of me. I whimpered against his lips, getting further and further to throwing caution to the dashboard and begging him to do whatever he wanted. Slow, sweet grinding caused another burst of warmth inside me, and I grasped his shoulders for support as he bucked his hips upward, heightening and deepening the need between the both of us.

_Holy. Motherfucking. Shit. _

A sound that was almost embarrassingly loud came out of my mouth, but Edward was right there, awarding me a deep, rumbling, appreciative moan. My hands shook as I let my head drop to his chest, kissing and continuing to fumble with his buttons as he slid his hands under my dress, over my ribs and the lacy cups of my bra. His hand eagerly slid under the material, and when the pads of his fingers rolled over my breasts, I bit my lip in a lustful hiss.

"Edward," I gasped, gliding my fingertips under his waistband. His stomach was so warm, so firm, tightening and expanding with his keen breath. "Let me touch you."

He blinked, his eyes feverish, and he simply shifted, thrusting his hips into me again, and again, and again. Hot friction, panting breath, and chesty moans filled the car, consuming us in muggy sensuality.

"I--I want you," I begged, reaching to undo his pants, craving the feel his length against my slick skin. "Please, I need you."

His knuckles brushed mine, traveling underneath my dress, tucking his hands over my thighs. I impatiently pulled down his zipper, grinning at the sight of his boxers instantly tenting into my hands, and I stroked him lightly, making him groan. His fingertips were just sliding under the silky band of my underwear, into the dip of my warmth, when, suddenly, I felt it.

His goddamned phone was going off like a Bumble Ball.

"Shiiiit," Edward hissed, snatching his hands away, resting them on my back.

"Ignore it," I pleaded, but he was already digging in his pocket, pulling out the little buzzing contraption. "Edward, don't--"

"_What?" _Edward growled into the receiver.

I heard Emmett's voice, all crackly and jolly, come from the other end. "Now, I can only imagine what you two are doing in there, so just tell me straight--am I five-hundred dollars richer, or not? Because if I'm going to be late for brunch, it's not going to be waiting in this parking lot for _your _ass to finish _getting _some ass."

Edward sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes vigorously as I leaned back against the steering wheel, impatiently tapping my fingers against his legs. "Man, then go. No, you didn't win anything. We were just…kissing. That's allowed."

"Let me talk to Bella."

Edward let his hand fall from his temple and he stared at me. "You can talk to her when we get there. We're leaving now, okay?"

I realized I was holding my breath, and squinted my eyes at his mention of leaving.

"Well, if I don't see your headlights behind me, I totally win," Emmett said.

Edward snapped his cell closed and dropped his hands, leaning back against his seat. I quickly snatched the phone from him and tossed it on my seat, putting all interruptions aside, and bent forward to kiss him, eager to continue where we left off. When I noticed that he didn't reciprocate, his hands and lips practically static, I pulled back and stared at him.

"What's the matter?" I asked, feeling slightly desperate as I tangled my fingers in his, pressing my lips to his neck. "Come on, who cares what Emmett--"

He seized my hips, gave me a quick kiss, and before I knew it he was lifting me up and over toward my own seat. "Bella, we can't."

"Wha--what?!" I uttered, falling back against the leather seat. "Why?"

I watched as he fumbled to button his shirt, and I sighed in irritation. "Oh, my God, _fuck _this _bet_, Edward. _I'll _give you five-hundred dollars. I'll pay _both _of you to stop this idiocy."

"Bella, come on, this--this is hardly the place--it's not mature," Edward said, wincing slightly as he tucked his very erect, perky self back in, and zipped his pants.

"Mature?" I repeated, gaping at him. "You certainly didn't care a minute ago! And I didn't even start it."

"No, you just put on that… vanilla… stuff," he muttered, buckling his seatbelt. "No more teasing."

As ungodly childish as it was, I huffed, firmly clenching the sides of my seat, pouting. My hair was probably in shambles, and I was sweaty, overheated, trembling with desire, and _soaked_. And Edward chose that moment to start backing out of the parking space, so there wasn't even time to for me to run upstairs and change my underwear.

"I need to change," I blurted out. "Don't leave yet."

"What are you going to put on, now? Black leather?" he teased.

"No, I'm going to take a page out of your book and put on a _chastity belt_," I grumbled. "I need--you made--my underwear--I'm _wet_, okay?!"

Edward smirked, and made no move to stop the car. "Yeah, I'm aware of that."

He had felt me, after all, and could probably _smell _me, and he was fucking proud of himself. I knitted my eyebrows in annoyance and folded my arms across my chest.

"Come on, don't pout," Edward said, reaching over and patting my shoulder like I was a child. "I didn't want to stop, either. But we're so close. We can make it a few more hours."

"_You _are out of your mind," I replied, buckling my seatbelt and uncomfortably shifting my hips. My lower body was still pulsing and achy, craving to be satisfied. "And '_no more teasing?_' What the hell do you think _you _just did? If you were in my underwear right now, you'd be pissed."

Of course, that made him laugh like a maniac, and I gnawed on my lower lip, feeling rejected, grumpy, and gross. Finally, I slid my hands under my dress, wriggled until I clasped the sides of my panties, pulled them off, bunched them up, and threw them onto the floor, kicking them into the corner.

I could feel Edward staring at me, so I narrowed my eyes, and, sure enough, he was gawking at me in shock and amusement. "Did you just--" he started.

"I was uncomfortable. Shut up."

I rolled down my window, then, and turned my attention to the cotton candy clouds, glorious palls of rose and amethyst-blue, and breathed in the cool, morning wind, calming myself. Edward fiddled with the radio, searching for good music, and I sighed, pacified with the airy, tranquil view, and the fact that there was nothing erotic--

"_--don't want anybody else, when I think about you, I touch myself--"_

I whirled around and smacked the radio panel, shutting the music off with a slap.

_No more teasing, indeed._

_=:=:=_

**Big, huge, massive thank you to Demosthenes91 for beta'ing and being my Smut Consultant! LOL And, uh, this will have 2 more chapters, just for pacing's sake. I got wordy. Le sigh. Anyway, Happy 2-months of being 24, Jes! *snort* ILY. Thanks for being patient!**


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